My birthday is fast approaching and whenever a milestone is up ahead I get reflective.
So here are the Top 5 things I’ve learned in my 20’s
5. Comparison is the thief of joy
Growing up in a Nigerian household sometimes sayings like “your mate is doing this…”
or
“what about Mr Patel’s daughter she is now…”
could be heard echoing within the four walls slowly building paranoia and insecurities within oneself.
Slowly but surely you find yourself comparing your achievements to those of others. And whilst you celebrate with them in the back of your mind you’re planning your great new venture; not fully allowing yourself to just be in the moment with them.
I’ve come to understand that my journey is my own and to be content and happy with what I have achieved and learn from the things that I didn’t. I no longer feel the need to validate my success by the success of others. I can be joyful in what we all achieve and not feel less than my peers.
4. Smile… It’s attractive
My husband once told me that I don’t smile in the mornings. He’s right!
I’ve never been the kind of girl to leap out of bed and start singing ‘oh, what a beautiful morning. Oh what a beautiful day…’ just because I’m groggy first thing when I wake up and it takes me a while to get my bearings. Or I’m in get ready for work mode which is quite intense as I’m usually doing a mental check of everything I need for the day.
However, in a weird way I’ve realised that there’s always something to smile about. It might not be the thing you want to smile about right now. But I bet you can find something that will make you smile.
Ok, so not every day will be great but there’s that glimmer of hope for better things yet to come that makes me smile. If I didn’t have a reason before then my Ellie-bear makes me smile.
Not to sound cliché but the opportunity to open your eyes and go about life as normal is a blessing. It is something I do not disregard so I am practicing my smile at every chance I get.
When life is great – Smile!
When you didn’t get the job – Smile!
When you’re tired and the baby is still awake – it’s hard I know but Smile!
3. Procrastination is the enemy of progress
Recently I came across something I wrote four years ago, so I thought I would share it.
Opportunity knocked at the door of Procrastination.
Procrastination was unsure about unlocking/ opening the door so he asked Sloth.
Sloth was pretending to be asleep as she couldn’t be bothered to get up!
Opportunity knocked once more as Potential walked into the room.
Potential unlocked the door and hugged Opportunity.
Procrastination was too scared to grab hold of Opportunity and Sloth was too damn lazy!
In Proverbs 6:9-11 it says…
“How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest— and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.”
This particular verse has taught me so much about being productive and whilst we all need rest, laziness is abhorrent.
2. If loving her is wrong I don’t wanna be right
In the last 2 years I have loved someone other than my husband. I’m sure you have guessed it by now but that is my little princess.
A funny thing happens when you make the pregnancy announcement. People from all over show their ‘excitement’ and congratulate you on the great news. Sometimes it’s hard to know if they are genuine or not. I’ve watched and gathered by people’s actions those that are truly happy compared with those that give lip service.
I had a really touching conversation with my good friend who is also a mother to some beautiful children. She expressed some of the disappointments she experienced with people who had shown their true nature and had let her down. I share her sentiments as you would think at a joyous time like this love, respect and support would be key. But I guess some situations bring out the worst in people.
I cannot and never will be apologetic for having my Ellie-bear. She has enriched my life in such a way I thought unimaginable. Her infectious laugh, cheekiness and her love of dance are a few reasons I have concluded that our lives will resume as normal regardless of any disruption from the outside world.
1. Trust God
This is a big one for me. These last ten years has been some of the most intense, challenging, thought-provoking and beautiful years of my life.
My husband and I will be celebrating nine years together this week. We have had to trust God with our relationship, marriage, child, home and careers.
It can be so easy to rely on ourselves to do everything. We try to be the pillar for our spouses, family and friends; sometimes at our own expense.
I know we mean well but we can’t be all and everything to everyone.
The thing I will be taking with me over the 30 threshold is trust in God always.
That means trust in His plan, direction and when He says no. It’s not good enough to just trust Him when everything is going great but equally when crap hits the fan.
Also being able to hear God speak is paramount but that requires a level of stillness.
Meditating, praying and feeding on His word can open up the pathway to communion with Him.
In my thirties I want my trust in God to be second nature where I don’t need to remind myself – to trust Him.
I want to continue to trust my journey and the process. I’m trusting for better days and promises to be fulfilled. I’m trusting that my future self will thank me for the mistakes made in my twenties.
Lastly, I’m trusting that God will use me to be a blessing onto someone.
Love Lenny
Xx
Oh Mummy Dearest 